Get over yourselves, you are NOT that busy. I don’t care what you say, being a new mom does not take THAT much of your time. Get off your lazy ass and post every once in awhile; every third year would suffice, really. Because SO many people want to know what is going on in your overly-simplified-too-suburnany-it’s-almost-Mr.-Rogers-Neighborhood-life. Now don’t get too crazy, we don’t wanna know what Sandy Skelkington had for breakfast or what her baby’s sleep schedule is like, you can save that for your mommy playgroup. And also, save the ever-popular, “Sorry it’s been so long” post. It’s dull, and frankly, you’re not sorry; you’ll do it again, so don’t bother. Chump.

And for the other chump, don’t think you’re off the hook just because your wife and child demand much more of your time than they should ever ought to. Just because you have a lawn to mow, and a dog to walk does not mean you can’t do a quick catch up. What the hell?? You’re on the computer like ALL day anyway, just stop by and say hi, jerk. You have an iPhone for crying out loud! And it’s not like you DON’T have anything to say, or DON’T know what to post about. Your big head is filled with loads of crap to fill a 400 seat stadium, so put it to good use. Here. Now.

When ya’ll are ready for some good ‘ol fashion kissing up, I’ll be waiting. Just post something. Sometime.

Ready To Forgive,
The Internet