I do believe janeyandrustin.com should be changed to janey.com since the rustin portion of the segment is MIA a lot of the time ALWAYS.
In other news, Rustin and I are getting a divorce. And I’ve met someone. One not necessarily resulting, or in connection with the other.
Lets begin with the good news: Someone.
You know, I meant to keep this a secret. But I cannot! And if I don’t talk about this person soon I will absolutely bust. I don’t want to call it an affair. But it is what it is. ‘Person’ or ‘Stalker’, as it were, was at my home, in my home, after hours while the husband was away and while the offspring slept. What we did during this fabulous time is none of your business. But I’ll share anyway because I like to brag. We played. Games. For adults. And in the short time we have been physically aware of each other we have: cooked ordered dinner for each other, shared stories of familial/troubled pasts–stories that still go unshared on my behalf to family/others that are terribly close to me, we’ve talked for hours over nothingness– as long as it meets the 140 character limit, we watched old movies–all Bette Davis like– and awesome sitcoms –all arrested in the development ways–and purchased lingerie. Together. That’s right, ladies and gents, she is a she. And I stand by it, loud and proud. Perhaps one day I shall delve more into how/what/why/where we met but for now all you need to know is her name. Ashley.Period. And she’s amazing! Period.
And now, on to the bad news: Divorce.
I’ve decided that although marriage was fun, I was right, it’s not for me. Upon realizing that Rustin’s distaste for chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream was more than just distaste, it was in fact, pure HATRED I’ve decided to call it quits. We’re filing under ‘irreconcilable differences’ if we can’t get this sucker annulled– after all we’ve only been married for 10 months or so. The baby thing will be the kicker. I’ll keep you posted. Again, since Rustin is MIA 24/7. Not bitter.
So perhaps I was wrong, and it is then a fact that the two separate items on the table are both in connection with AND a result of one another. Like I said, it is what it is. So I shall continue my twitfair, if you please. Out and proud, for all the world to judge.
Amen.
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